Skip to content
FirefliesIn the Night
A lantern-lit writing desk at an open window overlooking a starlit forest and mountains, with keepsake books, a photo, and fireflies glowing in the dark

Essays, songs, Abrar's Memoir, and the history of one community — written down before it's forgotten.

The Complete Poem

My flaws my own

I'm carved from Koshul family stone

Roots run deep like ancient trees

I am trying to bank good deeds

Kiraman Katibeen

I am trying to ascend

Seize every second

Reckon with my record

Remembering & beckoning every blessing

Prayer the only weapon

Keeping track of every dip every slip

I fall — get up, begin again

fearing the final accounting

Purposeless pursuits make me nervous

My dhikr verses — like nurses — healing what the hurt is

Courageous as currents — burning like a furnace

Certain in my purpose

Underneath the surface, Huqq is workin

Huqq colossal as the cosmos — quiet as a prayer

Rare as truth in a world of flair

I cut through like a surgical tear —

Precise — slicing through despair

Kiraman Katibeen — catching it all on film

Every whim, every hymn, every sin

But still therein remains a flickering

Dim light I carry within

Ya Allah, shine light on these dreams that dimmed

But still therein remains a flickering
dim light I carry within.

Ya Allah — shine light on these dreams that dimmed.

In Search of Beauty

Essays about sacrifice, attention, and what holds a family or a 'we' together — written from inside one imperfect life, not above it.

Featured essay

Movement Was My Oxygen

The opening essay — where this collection starts.

Personal reflections, stories and ideas.

Visit In Search of Beauty

About

Ahmad Abrar is a writer, lyricist, businessman, father and grandfather, born in Pakistan and raised in Teaneck, New Jersey. He has spent his life building, competing and carrying more than himself. Now he’s taking the microphone.